Each one of us have our lots in life.
Some of us who talk about our lot to others, happen to mention only the moments of happiness and the success stories that we have had. Moments of sadness and the failure stories are tucked away inside us. Some of us on the other hand, talk about only our moments of sadness and failure stories to others and not our moments of happiness and success stories. Why we speak about one and not the other is anybody’s guess. We have our own reasons for what they share and what we choose not to, valid enough from our own perspective. And there are some of us who will share a mixture of both to others, but what we share may depend on the person with whom we are sharing our lot with. There is a difference in what we share and then there is a difference in who we share it with. So many choices and so many decisions.
So how does this look from the standpoint of the person listening to what is being shared, and what they observe of the person as well?
Each of us wear a pair of spectacles that has different coloured glasses that come with it. Depending on the situation and the state of mind we are in, one of the colours fits itself into the spectacles and we see the situation and person based on the colour. Please note that this glass comes with the facility of taking two different colors at the same time. One for seeing the other and one for seeing ourselves and we then see ourselves and others in different and varying ways. There are then those rare times when the colour of the glass remains the same and we see ourselves and others in the same way.
When we wear those different colored glasses and view the lots that people have in their lives, more often than not we see that our lots and their lots are different. Sometimes we may feel that they have a lot that is better than ours and sometimes we may feel that we have a better lot than theirs. If we feel that their lot is better, we may go whining that life is unfair. Though I wonder if we count our blessings if we feel that our lot is better than theirs.
The different coloured glasses may give us a picture that is different from what it is. The situation remains the same but the way we see it is different. So when we speak to the person who is directly involved in the situation, we do so based on what we see, isn’t it? And that is different from the actual situation itself.
There is another thing that also could happen – what we see in the ‘colour’ that we see it in, we may tend to share it with another person. This person is seeing it based on what we share; and they are also wearing their own glasses that may have a different colour. What happens now? They have already heard a ‘coloured’ situation from us. They will further colour it based on how they see it. So both the situation and the person directly involved in the situation takes on different colours and / or different hues of the same colour. How much more can we complicate our lives?
Wearing the same colored glasses at different times, we may tend to see the same certain people. It becomes then extremely challenging to see the same person, with the glasses removed. In fact, even if we remove the glasses, we may still continue to see them in the same ‘coloured’ way. That colour lends itself for the future as well.
It sounds rather unfair both to us and to the other person, when we look at them and the situation wearing the colored glasses. Why unfair and how unfair to both us and them?
– These colored glasses only makes us be subjective and not really objective
– We may miss the facts altogether and see what we want to see rather than what we have to see
– We may not see their struggles, strengths and vulnerabilities, as the case maybe. It also may not help that they have not shared their lot with us. Being ignorant, how we look at others and their situation is anybody’s guess
Each one of us come as a loaded card.. loaded with our own challenges and strengths,; the latter may help to overcome the challenges. At times, it is preferable to share the load of challenges and strengths with others so that they know what we are carrying. How much to share, what to share, whom to share it with and when to share is a call that each one of us need to take. To share seems preferable though..
As for the coloured glasses, sometimes to see another person’s lot as it is, we may need to look at it with our naked eyes. If the eyes are blurred, wear plain glasses that see it for what it is and nothing more and nothing less. At the end of the day, each one to their own lot..