Disclaimer – This dialogue is neither a figment of imagination nor a real one; and the same applies to the characters as well. The character MAnvi is one I see myself in, though at times different. Her thAthA is one who seems much familiar. Much of these dialogues are a trigger from a book or a discourse by Pujya Swami Dayananda Saraswati. Any error in the way I have blogged upon, on any aspect is due to an error in my understanding alone.
MAnvi’s thAthA was waiting for a time when he would get an opportunity to speak to MAnvi. It needed to be spoken about, especially with her. When he saw that she was free and in the appropriate state of mind for the topic to be broached, he called her. She also was aware that if she is called by her thAthA, there is something that he needed to speak with her on, on priority. During those times of his speaking, it was a fact that she is more the listener and the thinker.
thAthA: MAnvi, why do you want people or situations to change?
MAnvi: If I want the situation to change it is because it would help another person or me; the latter is because I am directly involved in the situation. If I want people to change it is because it might help them.
thAthA: Why do people want you to change?
MAnvi: The same reason that I gave you, as the reason why I want people to change?
thAthA: MAnvi, when we try to change a situation or people, we are attempting to convert the situation or the people to do something that is pleasing or comfortable to us. The current state of the situation or of the people, is unpleasant to us; and anything that is unpleasant rattles us and hence is not acceptable. We accept something because we have not resisted their imposition on us.
MAnvi: thAthA, that last statement is profound – We accept something because we have not resisted their imposition on us. This could be also someone’s view or perspective that has influenced our thinking, isn’t it? Though imposition as a word has a meaning of something being thrust upon, which is not sought or desired for, if we think that what has been imposed on us is for our own benefit and growth, we may just accept it and not think that it has been imposed on us. But I wonder whether we may revolt internally over the fact that we did not resist before!!
thAthA: MAnvi, many times we want to bring in a change in ourselves because of the need for a pleasant disposition; a disposition that gives us comfort. What gives us pleasure is what we seek most times.
Moments of pleasure rests on three factors coming together. These three factors constantly change, are not completely predictable and is not within one’s control.
MAnvi: thAthA, what are these three factors?
thAthA: Availability of the object of desire, availability of the appropriate and effective instrument for enjoying the object and the presence of the proper frame of mind are the three factors. Remember MAnvi, all these three factors can keep changing. However when these three factors come in alignment, then there is a moment of pleasure; a moment of pleasure is momentary, given the changing nature of these three factors.
– Any object of desire perishes, being bounded by time; and within a time, they also are subject to change – this could be anything that gives us a sense of security – food, clothing, shelter, health, wealth, emotions, people etc.,
– Every instrument that we use to enjoy the object of desire, is also bound by time; and within a time, they also are subject to change. Some of the instruments are the resources that we use to enjoy the object of desire – sense organs, wealth, health etc.,
– The presence of a proper frame of mind is never a given and is highly unpredictable. For many of us and at many times, it is dependent on the external world. The mind by nature, constantly seeks a change and is never content with doing the same thing again and again.
Each one of these three factors is here one moment and gone the next. They are constantly in the motion of change. Any two of them maybe in alignment with one another while the third one may be some place else. All the three factors aligning could be as frequent or as rare (depending on how we look at it) as an eclipse.
So when the object we desire is available, we have the appropriate and effective instrument to enjoy it and we are in a proper frame of mind, then there is that moment of pleasure that we experience. This moment of pleasure that we experience gives us a feeling of completeness, of adequacy and of a feeling that nothing more is wanted.
MAnvi was silent for a few minutes and then asked: Would it then be wise to accept the fact that the objects, instruments and the mind are all limited, and so are the moments of pleasure? And so are the moments of feeling completeness, of adequacy and of a feeling that nothing more is wanted? And also accept the fact that as much as non-alignment of these three factors happens, alignment also does which leads to moments of pleasure? To accept the non-alignment and the alignment in the same way, makes us experience our life with far more maturity. I can see that it is not easy. It seems doable and yet not!!
MAnvi’s thAthA while echoing MAnvi’s silence also wondered on the change MAnvi will bring in herself, in a few days!!!